Baby Bass #2!!??!

As most of you already know, we are having a baby!!!!!!!!!!  We cant even believe that God has MORE blessings in store for us, but we are enjoying every second of this miracle.  

Back in March, my doctor sent me to the ER because I couldnt catch my breath.  I could breathe, but I really couldnt get a deep, deep breath without getting a pain in my back.  The ER doctor was stunned to learn that I was on birth control pills when I have been diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder.  He told me I had to immediately stop taking the birth control pill because it is known to cause or contribute to clots in healthy women, and since I already have a clotting issue, he was adamant that I discontinue taking the pills right away.  I was really worried about stopping because I "knew" that I would grow a giant cyst on my only remaining ovary, and end up having it removed.  See, the only reason I have been on  the pill is because it prevents ovarian cysts.  I grow ovarian cysts for the county fair.  No kidding.  I lost my left ovary to a cyst the size of a honeydew melon, and repeatedly grew melon and golfball/softball-sized cysts on my right ovary when we were trying to get pregnant when we first got married.  Cysts damaged my one remaining ovary, and when we finally threw in the towel on all of our fertility efforts, I was happy to be on the pill to prevent giant cysts.  

So when the ER doc (Doogie Houser) told me I HAD to stop taking them, I was really upset and concerned about cysts.  Not because we wanted to try to get pregnant, but because I didnt want to lose my ovary.  If I lose my right ovary, I will go into menopause.  Im only 32, yall.  I dont wanna deal with that yet!

I called my primary doc who sent me to a hematologist.  They drew a ridiculous amount of blood and determined I DO have protein S deficiency and confirmed that I am NOT allowed to take birth control pills.  I again got upset and worried, but gave it to God.  I distinctly remember driving to pick Whitney up from my parents and telling myself, "Wouldnt it be funny if this was God's way of telling me we can get pregnant? This is all part of God's plan, and I know He wouldnt do anything to hurt me, so Im just gonna trust that I wont get a cyst...and wouldnt it be just hilarious if I got pregnant..." and then I gave it to God.  I told Him "I trust you..and I know that you will either give me a cyst or a baby. If its a cyst, I know I am strong enough to get through it. And if its a baby, I will tell anyone who will listen how You work miracles."  (But we alllll knew it wouldnt be a baby, right?? c'mon!)

So since March, I have mentioned to Eric several times that I was surprised and excited that I didnt have a cyst yet.  I couldnt believe I had gone through April, May, June, July, etc without ANY signs of a cyst forming.  I had my period regularly and knew when to pay attention for cyst pain, and it just never happened. No cysts!  I wasnt taking it for granted.  I knew that was a God thing.

Since waaaay back when Eric and I were trying to get pregnant in 2005, I would always circle the date on the calendar when I got my period.  It is 2011, we havent tried to make a baby since 2008, and yet I still circle the date on the calendar.  August 3rd, I went to my doc and was prescribed a Z-pack for bronchitis and an ear infection.  I knew my period was due that day but wasnt surprised when it didnt show up because I was taking antibiotics and that can mess with my cycle.  So I carried on throughout the month and then Sept 3rd came.  I realized a few days later that A) I hadnt had my period in August B) It hadnt arrived on time in September either and C) my boobs hurt.

So, laughing at myself, I fished an old pregnancy test out from under my bathroom counter.  This test expired in 2008, but I figured "what the heck?"  It was negative.  I was not surprised, and sorta figured I would get my period now that I tested, because that's how life works.

My boobs started hurting more and more as the days passed.  I fell asleep in Whitney's toddler bed (ha!) as she read books on the floor.  I was having an impossible time waking up in the mornings and was exhausted by 8pm.  I napped on the couch for the first time since Whitney was an infant.  I was never hungry and certain smells made me gag repeatedly and I just couldnt make it stop. 

Of course, I realize all of this now...as I sit here 7 weeks pregnant already. 

On Tuesday, I dropped Whitney off at school and came home to run on the treadmill for the first time in five weeks.  I'd hurt my back again and wasnt able to run, so I was excited to get back into a routine since I will be  was planning on running the Disney Princess Half Marathon in February.  I stretched really well and then walked a quarter mile lap on the treadmill while watching Regis and Kelly.  (How blessed am I? I have the best husband in the world.) Then, I hit the button to increase my speed to a steady jog, and I thought I was going to cry.  My boobs hurt so bad, I didnt even make it half a lap.  I knew something was up.

I emailed one of my very best friends, Mandy, and told her "this is ridiculous...." and explained the situation.  She told me go buy a test at the store while Whitney was at school and I complained.  I didnt want to spend the $17 on more home pregnancy tests that would say the same thing they've always said: NOT Pregnant.  She convinced me that I should test just to ensure my period would show up, because that's just how it worked when we were doing fertility treatments.  I would have imagined signs or symptoms, buy the crazy tests, pee on the stick, see "Not pregnant" again, and then my period would promptly arrive within a few hours. Month after month. So, I gave in this time and agreed to test just to make my period show up!

I ran into Walgreens, went to pick Whitney up, and went to my parents house since Whitney wanted to see her Mac and Gramps.  I planned to take the test at their house but I didnt have to "potty" yet.  So I chugged a bunch of water and waited til we got home.  We walked into the house and I was going to lay Whitney down for her nap.  I remember thinking I would test when she was in bed, and then something told me, "...but if its positive, you'll want her to be awake..." So I ran to the bathroom and closed the door...Whitney, of course, followed right on my heals and wanted to come in.  I didnt want her to see me peeing on anything, so I told her to wait a minute.  She waited outside until she heard me start saying, "OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH" over and over.  She opened the door and said "Mommy, why you cwying? You needa call da doctuh." And I just responded, "I guess I DO need to call a doctor....but..we need to call Daddy first.  Do you want to have a baby?!" and I was walking/pacing through the house carrying the test out in front of me, unsure if my eyes were realllllly seeing that word: PREGNANT. I called Eric but he didnt answer his office or cell phones.  I texted him a picture of the test and waited for him to call.  In the mean time I called my mom and blurted out, "IM PREGNANT." and proceeded to cry and sob as she ran and told my dad.  My dad apparently "called it" months ago when I had to stop taking the birth control pill ;)

After I got off the phone with my mom, I texted the pic to Mandy's phone and and called Eric again.  He finally left his meeting and checked his phone.  When he answered my call he said, "Stop iiiiit." and I could hear the smile in his voice.  I was half crying and half laughing and just said "Its for real. I cant believe it.  I dont even know how far along I could be. I havent had a period since July...I think...Maybe June?...I cant believe this..." and he, ever the Eric Bass we know, remained completely cool and calm and said "wow...really? How? I mean, when? That's crazy......okay, let's not overreact..." 

in

I laughed and said, "Ok, I dont want to remember you saying "dont overreact" the moment I tell you Im pregnant with your baby! HA! I dont know HOW to react...this wasnt ever supposed to happen! I mean, Im happy...youre happy, too, right?...I mean this isnt a BAD thing...I just dont really know how to react...I cant believe it." (Obviously not really quoted, but I recall saying all of those things.)

He told me to call the doctor and make an appointment right away since I would have to see a high risk doctor if I really was pregnant.  Then he asked me if I am taking any medications that could make a false positive.  I reminded him that, since March, Ive only taken a womens multivitamin, a baby aspirin, and a vitamin b drop every night, per the hematologist's instructions and to prevent blood clots.  Besides, I vaguely recalled learning that there could be false negatives on home pregnancy tests, but never false positives since they test for 'the pregnancy hormone'.  Its either there, or its not.

Now, I have some practice with home pregnancy tests.  In our fertility days, I would stare at those digital tests, just begging the word "Pregnant" to pop up on that screen while the little hour-glass would flip and flip over and over as time dragged on.  Without fail, the hour-glass would flash off the screen as the words "Not Pregnant" would appear.  The wait always seemed like a half hour, and was just long enough for me to convince myself I was silly to have bothered testing.  On Tuesday, the test was instantly positive. The little hour-glass barely had a chance to flip over one time.  That told me that I was more than just a little bit pregnant.  There was more than enough pregnancy hormone in my body to trigger a positive result instantly.  I called the doctor's office and said, "Well, Ive called my husband and Ive called my mom, so I think Im supposed to call you next.  I just received a positive result on a home pregnancy test."  The office manager said "Is this Kathleen?" and I just assume she knew because my phone number showed up on her screen? She was VERY nice to me (even when she really didnt like what I was saying) back in March when my gynecologist (her boss) met with us to discuss cyst-prevention options.  See, he had NO CLUE who we were when we sat in his office.  He hadnt even taken 3 seconds to view my 9-inch-thick file and see that I have never had a baby and I had already done IVF.  When he sat down he said something like, "Well, if you have to go off birth control because of the clots, then there is no time like the present to get pregnant! Why dont we get you pregnant?" I wanted to punch him, but instead I reminded him that we had already been down that road and it wasnt an option. I reminded him that my cysts were going to get bigger and bigger if I couldnt take the pill, and that we werent interested in trying to get pregnant.  We were interested in preventing cysts from getting large.  He was no help at all and really insulted me.  This man has been my doctor for ten years, seeing me annually for exams and several times for cysts and such. HOW could he STILL not know that I was unable to conceive?!?! I was angry.  So when this poor office manager called me asking for a copy of some paperwork, I told her just what I thought of Dr. Z.  "Im sure he's a great baby-catcher and can deliver a trillion babies without incident, but youd think he would take 2 seconds to read my file and find some sensitivity or bedside manner. I dont expect him to know my life story, but its part of his job to know my gynecological history, and he failed." Wowzers.  So....imagine her surprise on Tuesday when I was calling to tell her I was pregnant and I needed to see Dr. Z "the baby catcher" as soon as possible.  Whoops.

She laughed and congratulated me, and tried to find a time for me to get an ultrasound that afternoon.  The u/s tech had already gone to another office for the day, so my appointment was scheduled for 10:15am Wednesday morning.  It seemed like an eternity to wait!  In the meantime, I had about a gazillion phone calls to make to all my closest girlfriends.  I called and/or texted Lynzie, Dallas, Kathy (who's sister, Jess, was in the car), Annie, Carolyn, Aunt Gerry, Kirsten, and Sarah.  I couldnt believe I was telling these girls I was pregnant, and I typically started the conversation with, "Wanna hear something really funny??" :) They all screamed, laughed, cried, gasped, laughed some more, etc with me. None of us could believe it. I asked Summer to meet me out back so I could show her something.  She made me wait 2 agonizing minutes and finally appeared out her back door.  I said "Wanna see something funny?" and held up the pregnancy test.  She stared at it as I laughed, then said "wait...is that yours?", and then screamed the LOUDEST scream Ive ever heard that echoed across the entire neighborhood! We laughed and she cried. I wasnt quite to the crying stage really, since I truly didnt believe it.  I just laughed and laughed and stood with my mouth open a lot. haha

They were all sworn to secrecy until further notice.  I told them they could spread the word the next day if we saw a heartbeat at our appointment.  All night, Eric and I laughed and tried to figure out when this happened. Was I 15 weeks already!? Was I 10 weeks? Or only 4 weeks? I'd taken a test recently, and it was negative, so I must only be 4 weeks....but that test was from 2008...so maybe it was expired?  I counted my symptoms...the ones I knew about and the ones I had to really think about to realize they were there.  My hair is dry, my skin is a nightmare.  My nails are amazing and strong. My appetite is almost non-existent and I could probably go a whole day without thinking about food, as I dont really get hungry.  Ive been consistently losing weight but thought maybe the 25 days of P90X has just revved up my metabolism.  Im tired a lot and super thirsty.  And while Ive always been a crier, I had taken it to extremes with full-on sobs and major tears during the 9/11 coverage I watched last week.  I remember Eric looking at me funny when I sobbed, "She looks just like her Daddy!!" as some pics of a 9/11 baby were on the screen next to a pic of her father who died in the towers.  SOBBING.

Yesterday morning, my mom and dad, Eric, Whitney, and I all trucked into my gyno's office. My parents kept Whitney entertained while Eric and I briefly met with the doctor.  Dr. Z walked in the room and said, "Never say never, huh?" He sent me to the ultrasound and we met with him after very briefly.  The ultrasound tech knows us, as she has seen many cysts from me in the past.  She asked me the usual questions and suddenly, on the screen where we have always measured cysts, there was our baby.  Eric saw it first, saying "Is that it? The baby?" The tech, with a smile in her voice, said "Yep, but we'll get back to that after I measure her ovary and other stuff." I couldnt take my eyes off the screen. Im usually in tears on this table, as we are usually measuring giant cysts that potentially steal my ovary. I couldnt believe we were looking at a baby.  And then she moved back over the baby and locked the picture to take several measurements.  Eric gasped a little and said, "Is that the heartbeat? That little blink right there in the middle?" How could I miss it? How could *I* not see it? I had hoped and prayed for that image for YEARS.  The nurse clicked some buttons and the screen showed the blood flow within the baby's teeny, blueberry-sized body.  There was a teeny, tiny flicker of colors in the middle of the baby, and the heartbeat rhythm raced quickly across the bottom of the screen.  I heard Eric sniff next to me as the nurse said "Its a really good, strong heatbeat.  146. Thats great."  

Our baby has a heart.  And its beating.  And its strong.  

Eric says that is the moment it became real to him.  I am not sure it has fully sunk in for me yet.  I am getting moments or waves of reality here and there, but Im not sure I really deeply believe it yet, even though I already loooove this baby.  I just keep repeating "this is so surreal."  

After the ultrasound, we let Whitney put her "Big Sis" shirt on outside the doc's office.  I made it the night before, just in case there was a heartbeat :) Whitney quickly learned how to tell everyone, "Im going be a BIG Sistuh!!" and "My mommy has a baby in her bewwy!" and "My mommy is having a baby!"  We snapped a few pics outside the doc's office and then Eric had to head back to work.  He called his parents while I texted this pic to alll the family and friends in my phone:

"Surprise! Whitney is going to be a big sister! Baby Bass #2 is due May 1st, 2012!"

My phone erupted in texts and calls and hasnt stopped :) Once all of our family and closest friends heard the news, I posted the news on Facebook....which proceeded to BLOW UP my phone and inbox. I cant even begin to talk about all the amazing, fabulous, heart-felt wishes our family and have friends have expressed.  When I think about the wonderful things people have said, I start to cry...and then, the tears somehow trigger my new-found gag reflex, which leads to gags and giant dry heaves.  So I cant talk about it yet.  Its just amazing to hear from Lauralton girls, Chi O/Clemson girls, AB/JM girls, Chalk Hill friends, Chase friends, teacher friends, family friends, and everyone in between!  I am overwhelmed by the out-pouring of love and excitement yall have sent us! I know I have at least a dozen messages and emails to respond to.  Ive read everything, through tears and smiles, and promise to respond as life starts to simmer down a bit.  I cant thank everyone enough! THANK YOU! 

I also love that I have heard from SEVERAL friends who are also pregnant and due very close to Baby Bass #2's due date.  I totally respect their desire to keep their pregnancies under wraps until the "safe" 12th week, and since Im typically a rule follower, I would normally abide by the 12 week rule, too.  But I truly believe that this story....this miracle...is too good a story to keep to ourselves.  This is a GOD thing and nothing else.  No doctors were involved in the making of this baby. :) No technology.  No planning or tracking or worrying.  No agency. No home studies. No meetings or attorneys.  

To God be the glory!

*I know a LOT of people are having a tough time viewing the blog.  Im going to look into wordpress or buying our own domain name.  Im not a fan of blogger and their privacy settings, and I think its about time to make a fresh start in a new location :) I'll keep you posted!