Grady's Birth Story

It has been eight days ten days eleven days since our baby boy arrived, and I dont want to forget all the fun details of this adventure.  I have sat down to write this post and get pictures uploaded about 26 39 times, and each time Ive been interrupted.  I am determined to knock it out tonight today....I have looked through alllllll the pictures from the last week ten eleven days, and I STILL cant believe this kid is here and he's half me and half Eric.  Unreal.  

I am going to have to break up the fun into separate posts, because starting on Thursday of last week and ending last Sunday night, our family:

*had a doc appt (Wed. 4/18)

* had a baby (Thurs. 4/19)

* had reconstructive surgery  (Thurs. 4/19)

* celebrated a 3rd birthday (Sat. 4/21)

*welcomed our son home (Sat. 4/21)

* threw a party for 50+ friends for aforementioned 3rd birthday (Sun. 4/22)

* enjoyed a surprise visit from my brother (Sun. 4/22)

*tried to find our new normal (ongoing....)

*threw "normal" out the window and started Eric's back-to-work week with a giant stomach bug attacking Big Sister at 3am Monday morning....and is still here as I type, Whitney next to me on the couch, Eric working from home in the office, and Grady quarantined to his crib. :( 

On Wednesday, April 18th, I had my regularly-scheduled weekly NST (non-stress test) at my regular OB.  I dropped Whitney off at school and headed to the appointment where Eric met me.  Grady was taking a little longer than normal to cooperate with some solid movements, so the test lasted longer than previous weeks' tests, but no one was worried or concerned at all since his heart rate was great.  After the NST, my doc checked me to see if I had started dilating at all.  I was 38 weeks, 1 day, and was excited to learn that I had already started dilating and was 2-3cm along.  Could it actually be that my body was finally going to do something RIGHT?! On its OWN!? Without medical interventions or surgeries!?

WARNING: TMI to follow....gory details ahead.....

When my doc checked me, he told me that it was normal to have a little bit of spotting after the exam, but he was surprised and a little bit concerned with how much I was bleeding.  I had to lay down on the table and take it easy (yeah right) while Eric and I wondered what it all meant.  When I was allowed to get up, and we realized the bleeding hadnt subsided, my doctor told us that we had two options.  We could get in the car and head straight to the hospital, or we could go home and see if the bleeding stopped or slowed down by 1pm and then make a decision. 

  

When the house was "clean enough", and Eric called to say he had cleared the rest of his calendar and was headed home, I called my doctor and told them the bleeding hadnt slowed and I wanted to head to the hospital.  He called me in as a "direct admit", meaning I wouldnt have to go through the whole triage process once we arrived.  I wasnt nervous, but Im still not sure it felt real...it all still felt so surreal and like it wasnt really happening to me.  My parents headed over to our house since Whitney was still sleeping.  Eric and I took our time packing hospital bags and wrapping things up around the house, driving my mom crazy as she just wanted us to get the show on the road. :)  Eric and I were both bummed that we didnt get to say good-bye to Whitney before we headed to have her baby brother, but it worked out for the best since we werent really 100% sure how she would react and I didnt want to risk her crying or not wanting us to leave her.  She was THRILLED to wake up to find Mac and Gramps at her house, so Im sure we made the right call. 

Before we got on the highway, we stopped by our church where our fabulous Pastor came out of his office and met us at the car to pray with us before we headed out.  He mentioned passages from Psalms that, of course, I cant remember now, but that helped me through some tough contractions as I recalled his comforting words and that God had this all planned long before I was ever here.  Stopping to meet Pastor Keith was one of the best decisions of the day :) 

I wasnt sure how long this whole induction process would take, and I decided I wanted a sudoku book in case the wait was hours and hours and my face.book peeps and blog friends werent active enough to keep me occupied through the wee hours of the morning :) We stopped at Target around the corner from the hospital, and I wanted something small to eat since I knew I wouldnt be allowed to eat again until I was a mother of two.  We strolled the aisles of Target, grabbing a book for Whitney and a sudoku book and a small notebook and pens since I had been warned that pens were hard to come by in hospitals (thanks, Mandy!) I still dont know why I was so casual about it all, or why I wasnt in more of a hustle to get to the hospital, but I just felt calm and like things were going to work out.  I never did grab a snack though.

We got checked into the hospital and were brought right to our room on the Labor and Delivery floor.  Eric snapped one last belly pic before I got in my gown and prepared for whatever was about to happen.  I answered a gajillion questions about allergies and family histories, and the nurse tried to start my IV.  I have ridiculous veins.  I can count on one hand the number of times a nurse has been able to stick my vein on the first try.  99% of the time, nurses have to try and try again, often calling in back-up.  This nurse was no different.  She called in another nurse after she blew my vein in my left hand (which ended up being one of the more painful injuries of the entire hospital stay), and when the second nurse blew a vein in my right arm, they all decided it was best to call in anasthesia since they are generally better at IV sticks

After a good hour, I finally had an IV in place and the pitocin was started slowly.  The midwife checked me (YOWSERS!?!! that hurt) and agreed that I was "between 2 and 3cm" dilated.  They told me they wanted me to progress 2cm every 2 hours without slowing until I was 10cm.  Then they would let me "labor down" for a while, which means I would stay at a 10 for a while, allowing Grady to move down on his own before I would start pushing.  They said this process had proven to shorten the length of time I would spend pushing, so I was all for it.

I just went through my Face.book page to get the details of the night since its all fading from memory now:

* Contractions every 2 minutes but I don't feel anything at all. Feeling great, on my feet and loving our nurses and midwife. Took 3 blown veins to finallllllly get me an IV and pitocin started around 9pm. So far, things are great! Thanks for all the texts and calls and emails! We will text pics as soon as he arrives! (still doesn't feel real.....) — with Eric Bass.

I was standing and pacing and swaying as much as possible to keep things moving. I knew I was going to get tired and spend time in bed, and I wanted gravity to help me out as much as possible. 

* Epidural in. 4 cm. broke my water. Still feeling great! Now we try and sleep. — with Eric Bass.

Just as everyyyyone told me, the epidural was completely painless.  I wasnt nervous and really liked and trusted the anesthesiologist and nurses.  We have since learned that my body tends to fight pain medicines like epidurals and anesthesia and narcotics, but at first, the epidural was great.  

6 cm. feeling good. Sleepy but excited :)

I really just wanted to get 15 minutes of rest, but my body (and all the nurses) had other ideas.  I think I closed my eyes for a minute or two, but nothing significant.  This was when that snack wouldve been a smart idea.

Midwife says textbook progression. Feeling really blessed. 8cm now. — with Eric Bass.

By this point, I was feeling really confident that a C-section was not in the plan.  I was really happy with the way I responded to the pitocin and the entire induction process, and my epidural still appeared to be working properly. 

Still hanging in. Had to redo epidural. 10cm and complete. Just giving Grady time to drop some more.

And then..I hit 10cm and fully thinned out, and the epidural seemed to disappear.  Another anesthesiologist came in to assess my pain situation and redo the epidural.  I was afraid I would have a contraction in the middle of the epidural process, so he waited til we were safely between contractions and again, the process was painless.  We all assumed this epidural would do the trick and ensure the pain subsided without inhibiting my ability to push when the time finally arrived. 

I didnt post on face.book after that, as things got pretty blurry and painful for a while. But needless to say, Grady arrived healthy and safe and perfect and that's all that REALLY matters.  I started pushing at 8:35am and I remember thinking, "I know Im pushing, but I dont feel like Im DOING anything."  It seemed like it took a while for him to move anywhere or actually "appear".  The nurses were awesome and kept assuring me that I was doing great and that Grady was not far away.  Contractions were every 2 minutes and I was pushing through a ten-count ("1....2....3.....4....5....") three times during each contraction.  Eric, who originally said he wanted to stay "north of the equator" (ie, not look at anything going on below my belly button......can ya blame him? there are some things that just cant be un-seen.), had apparently decided that he was going to watch the whole thing by this point, and he was the BEST, most AMAZING coach I couldve ever imagined.  More on this in a later post, but I have to say that this entire process has made me fall completely in love with my husband all over again.  He has been amaaaaaazing.

After a while, the nurse got this crazy bar that went over the bed at about my waist and she wrapped a towel around it.  I held onto that towel instead of holding my knees, and the pushing seemed sooo much easier.  When it came down to the last three pushes, they had to remove the bar so the midwife could catch Grady, and I begged them to leave it up! Highly recommend it if your hospital offers it.

I pushed every 2 minutes for an hour and 13 minutes.  I remember thinking, "When is the nurse going to say, 'just ONE more push, Kathleen, and your baby will be here!!'???" like they do in the movies. I just wanted to hear her say, "He will be here after the next push!" or SOMETHING to make me see a light at the end of the tunnel.  FINALLY, she called over the intercom, "Come to room 18 for delivery, please." and I knew he was going to be here SOON.  The midwife arrived and things started happening crazy fast.  They threw some plastic dropcloth on the floor, set up some tools on a tray, got gloves and paper gowns and a mask on, and told me to push "one more time".  FINALLY!!

I remember shouting, "Just reach in there and PULL. HIM. OUT!!!" at one point....and then in the middle of another frustrating push, shouting, "Get OUUUTTT!!!!!!" but other than that, I was pretty quiet and in the zone, just still in disbelief and finding it completely unbelievable that I was actually pushing our baby out.  At 9:48am, I heard Grady's first cry as he entered the world.  I remember Eric shouting, "He's OUT! He's OUT! He's here! Look!!" and they held up our son for me to see. I held him on my chest for a while and just stared at him, repeating "I cant believe youre here.  I can believe youre here!" 

I was so in love with him and didnt take my eyes off him for very long, but I noticed the doctor, midwife, nurse, and several nursing students were now in the room.  They werent doing anything or "working on me" in any way, but they all stood at the foot of the bed chatting and trying to make a decision.  We learned that Grady had done quite some damage making his entrance into this world, and it was beyond the scope of what an Obstetrician could repair.

 They called in a Reconstructive Surgeon, who would later come to be known as "Dr. Doomsday", who said he couldnt work on me until I had a working epidural. (Oh yeah...forgot about that whole "the second epidural didnt work for the end of labor either" part. Not. Fun.) In the days following my discharge from the hospital, Eric told me that he saw parts of my internal organs that no person should ever see. I dont remember the pain, but I know I was in pain.  I couldnt sit on the side of the bed to get a third epidural, nor did the anesthesiologist want that.  Unfortunately, less than 15 minutes after Grady arrived in the world, I had to be put under "twilight anesthesia" so the surgeon could repair the damage.  Eric got to stay in the room, holding Grady, and I wasnt out long, but Eric said the surgeon was stitching for "at least 20 minutes, non-stop", and that I ended up with "well over 100 stitches."

Fun.

Dr. Doomsday was not very positive about my chances at healing, and felt compelled to share all kinds of stories about women with this type of injury needing colostomy bags and having lifelong issues.  The nurses and other doctors tried to make the situation better by tossing out random percentages of people who heal "just fine", but it was pretty hard to hear Dr. Doomsday try to bring me down after I just brought the most beautiful little boy into the world. Again, Eric was amazing and helped me with ice packs and tucks pads and mesh panties and things that no husband should ever have to suffer through with his wife.

The rest of the stay in the hospital is a bit of a blur since I was on medicines for pain, but I am really glad we took a bunch of pics so I can sort of recall bits and pieces of the experience.  Ten Eleven days later, I am able to say "it hurt, but I dont remember how bad it reallllly hurt." But in the moment, I was absolutely miserable and certain that a c-section wouldve been a better route.  Grady's head wasnt the issue.  Apparently he grabbed some of my internal muscles and organs on his departure and decided to take them along for the ride. No one knows what wouldve or couldve happened if we had waited a week or two weeks, but at 38 weeks and 7 lbs 14 oz, I feel confident I wouldve ended up with a c-section if we hadnt gone with the induction when given the chance.  It hurt, and it still hurts...and from what I understand it will likely hurt for a while....but it was worth it and I dont regret going with the induction because 95% of the rest of the experience was amazing. 

After I woke up and while we were waiting for a room on the Mommy and Baby floor, my parents brought Whitney to the hospital to meet her little brother, and Eric's dad and his dad's girlfriend came to meet the newest Grandson.  Whitney's reaction was priceless.  She "ooooh'd" and "aaaaah'd" over Grady and his tiny hands and his big yawns.  She stared at him and was just completely in love with him from the second she laid eyes on his sweet face. 

Their visit was short, but once we were settled in our room later that evening, Eric ran home to get Whitney, let her nap at home, and then brought her back to see me and Grady and eat some pizza in our hospital room.  She couldnt wait to get her hands on him and snuggle up to her little brother! More "oooooh" and "awwww" and "Wook how CUUTE he is, Mommy!!" and "Oh! I fink he is going to open his eyes!! Wook! Wook!" and "I wuv you, Buddy!"  She rarely calls him by his name, but chooses to call him "Buddy" instead. Adorable.

Everyone keeps asking how the big sister is doing with new baby brother.  Honestly? We cant imagine it going any smoother! She pays enough attention to him to prove that she loves him and thinks its pretty cool to be a big sister, but when she wants to play and do her own thing, she completely ignores the dude.  She understands that babies cry when they need something, though Grady doesnt cry often at all. So when he does wimper a bit, she follows my lead and calmly "Ssshhhhhh"s him and tells him, "Its okay, Buddy! Mommy is here!"

At the hospital and during the first week at home, she probably asked to hold him a billion times.  She has backed off that a bit, but loves to get right up in his face and talk sweetly to him.  She and her friend Faith sang him a few duets the other night and then "ooh" and "ahhh"' over him for a while.  Too cute!

She was VERY excited to give Grady HIS bear blanket.  Whitney attached herself to a pink "bear blanket" when she was only about 4 months old, and she helped pick out a similar blankie for her little brother.  She climbed up on the hospital bed and made a big deal out of laying it next to Grady and making sure he knew she picked it out and couldnt wait to show it to him. Eric and I were repeatedly teary-eyed as we watched our girl's excitement grow and grow.

Grady was born on April 19th.  Whitney's birthday is April 21st.  On the night of the 20th, Whitney hung out in the hospital with us, eating my favorite pizza, and getting to know her little brother.  My dad made an awesome video for Whitney's 3rd birthday and we had fun watching that on the ipad, remembering all the fun the last year brought and singing along to all our favorite songs from the year.  I imagine the 20th of April will be an annual family night of pizza at home while watching each kids' birthday video. :)

Whitney would look away from the ipad frequently, stealing glances of Grady in hopes that he would open his eyes and look at her.  Still, eleven days into life, Grady rarely opens his eyes for more than a few short minutes, but Whitney is always on the lookout for his lil eyeballs :) 

We got home Saturday afternoon, Whitney's 3rd birthday! We have had a lot of fun getting to know our son and watching our daughter grow into her role as proud big sister.  She couldnt WAIT to show him off to her friends and teachers at school that Monday, pointing to his car seat and smiling from ear to ear! More pics and video to come, as her school made a big fuss celebrating Whitney's 3rd birthday and welcoming Grady to his first visit to chapel. :) 

In his short eleven days here, Grady has met most of his extended family members and the majority of our local friends.  There were some pretty nasty storms while we were in the hospital, so only a few close friends visited us there, but a few came to meet Mr. Grady the night we got home, and the day after he came home from the hospital, we Eric threw Whitney the BEST Snow White birthday party ever!   

Whitney was sooo excited to wake up to a room filled with balloons on the day of her party! (Thank you Pinterest for the idea, and to Eric for blowing up a 24-pack of balloons for our girl!) She woke up and said, "HEY! Who DID dis to my bed woom!?!!" We ran to her room to wish her a "Happy Party Day!" and she was soooo excited about her balloons, but immediately asked, "Can I pweas hode Gwady?" 

.....and so she did. :)

I will be back with pics from the birthday party, our visit with Uncle Jay, Grady's first visit to Whitney's school, Whitney's awesome 3rd birthday video, some videos of Grady and Whitney at the hospital, and more..... :)