Well, I am not quite sure what to think. In two years of on-and-off TTC, Eric has never brought up baby stuff. I mean, he never really had to since I was ALWAYS talking about it. I was forever trying to figure out when I was ovulating, when we should have sex, when we shouldnt have sex, when I could take a test, when the baby would be due,...etc. FOREVER talking about it. So, in two years I havent had a conversation about baby stuff unless I was the one who started it.
Leave it to Eric to toss me a curve ball. I have stopped talking about, thinking about, and dreaming about TTC. I am finally at a very comfortable stage right now, where I am happy with our life and lifestyle and the luxuries we are able to afford. I am happy that I do not have to get out of bed at the crack of dawn if I choose not to. I am happy that I can go to NY&Co and spend a ridiculous amount on clothes that I dont need. I am happy that I can spend 30 minutes brushing my dog if I choose. I am happy that I can take a 45 minute shower, run, or nap if I want/need to. I am happy that I can find the time to start a new book if I want. I am happy with what we have. Call me selfish. I like living life for "us" right now. Will this change? Most likely. When? I have no idea, but, until last night, I didnt forsee it changing anytime soon.
So, as I was rambling...err, saying..I am happy with the thought of no kids, no TTC, no timing sex, etc. Then, all of a sudden...out of left field, Eric ever-so-sweetly says to me last night, "We should just try next month....". Now, keep in mind that, two YEARS have gone by without this man mentioning "trying", so when he said that word, I literally had NO IDEA what he was talking about and I replied, "Try what?". He said, "You know...to get pregnant. I mean, why not? You could just stop taking the pill after this pack is done and we can just try for a month. If it doesnt work, no big deal...you just go back on the pill".
I sit there, open-mouthed...not quite sure what to say. This baby mission has been MY mission for so long. My project. My focus. Now that I am sort of "over it", here he comes with a new plan for my project. A new map for my mission. Can he do that???
So, we sit in silence for a minute before I say, "well, I am really happy that you are thinking about this (because sometimes I wonder if he THINKS at all!), but didnt we agree that we kind of like our life right now and we were gonna wait until January to try again?" and he sweetly slides closer in bed and cuddles a little and says, " well, would it HURT to try next month?" Ok, this is when I wonder if he was slipped a cocktail at Bible study. Cuddling? Talking babies? What has this man done with my husband!?!?!?
The night takes a surprisingly fun turn from there, but I will spare you those details. :)
But today I am left wondering what our next step should be. I have about 3 weeks left in this pill pack. That gives me three weeks to analyze, stress, and over-analyze this situation...the very situation that I JUST stopped obsessing over. Hmph. Do we try next month on our own even though our chances are slim? Do I stick to my original plan and wait until January and then do IVF? If we try on our own next month, should I use OPKs and all that jazz? Or should we just sort of see what happens? What if I end up with some huge cyst again...like the last time we had this brilliant idea to try on our own?? So much to think about.....stay tuned :)
11 comments:
Hey girly - I am praying that you find peace with whatever decision you and Eric make :)
I'm not sure what to say. I'm glad that Eric finally brought the subject up but kind of shocked. I have absolutely no advice for you though! I guess it's time to bring it up again and actually talk about things. Why is this whole thing so complicated???? It wasn't meant to be this way!!!!!
Love ya!!!
I can't really tell you what to do but it sounds like you should go for it!! What's the harm, you know? Can't wait to hear what you decide!
Wow Maybe Gods trying to tell u something! Thats the first thing that came to my mind. Now that ur Hubby is on the same track as u had been on maybe its God got through to him and wow i got goosbumps reading that! How amazing! I hope if u decide to TTC it works this time and If u decide to not TTC that God will give u a lot of better choices!
First of all - your life sounds like a dream! I want your life! :) How nice to get up when you want, read books, travel, etc...maybe someday.
As far as Eric...MEN!! That so sounds like something Rodney would suddenly do....goodness! I hope you guys come to a great decision, and I'm praying for you! Please let us know what you decide!! Love you, sweetie!
Shoot, I poseted and it didn't work! Let's try again.
First of all - I'm quite envious of your life! Not having to get up early if you don't want to, going wherever you want, reading books....I want your life! :)
As for Eric...MEN!!! They are so confusing sometimes! I hope that whatever the two of you decide you both have a peace about it. Praying for you, sweetie! Let us know what you decide!
i was going to say something similar to Lauren that maybe he is on the same page now and is ready for the baby.maybe thats what the baby's been waiting for. i think that it took me 18 months to get pregnant b/c dh wasn't ready before then. i say go for it because there is no harm in it. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
Wow, that is really surprising, and I think in a good way. Good luck with whatever you decide to do! I will be praying for you and Eric.
Wow, that is surprising, and in a good way I think! Good luck with whatever you choose, and I will be praying for you and Eric.
Hi Kathleen! First off, I love your blog...
I hope that whatever you decide to do you are happy with. Maybe god is trying to say something. Anyways, I wish you the best with whatever you choose to do..I say why not just give it a shot?:)
Do what is right! Take things as they come and have fun!
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