Work, Kids, and their DUMB parents....

So, things at work are picking up and that is exciting! The good news is, we are helping kids who have fallen behind in school and showing them what they are capable of. The light bulbs are going off over their little heads and they are excited about reading for the first time in their young lives.
The bad news is, I have to meet with some really stupid parents on a regular basis. Yesterday's conference probably takes the award for "Dumbest Dad". A little background: the parents are in the middle of a NASTY divorce. She has custody one week, then the dad gets custody the next week. The kids are the ones who suffer. Long ago I realized that I act as a family counselor on many occasions in the center. I kinda should have seen this coming.
So, I meet with mom and gramma last week. They see the problems, acknowledge that the son needs help with reading, and say that they can afford to send him two hours per week if the dad agrees to pay for another 2 hours each week. Mom made a big deal about how she is working from home because they work in the same office at Disney and she started having seizures from all the stress the dad is causing, etc etc. She told me and my staff, "He will want to meet with you to go over our son's results....you WILL hate him by the time he leaves this place. Please dont take that out on my son." Oh.....how right she was......

So, dad comes in last night to go over the results. After a 10 minute speech about how his exwife wants to do this and she tends to jump into things without thinking it through first, and blah blah, we finally got down to the matter at hand: his SON, a failing student just starting the 2nd grade. (BTW, I wanted to say, "clearly she doesnt think before acting...she married YOU, and then had two children with your dumb ass."...but i refrained.) I told him "I know this is a big commitment, both financially and as far as your time is concerned. You will need to get A here on a regular schedule to ensure that he is consistent, and we will be meeting with you every 12-15 hours or so to go over A's progress in his program." He stopped me and said, "Money is nothing. I can afford this. Time is nothing. He is my son and I will do anything for him. Dont listen to what my wife has told you." (His wife HAD told me that he would say those exact words, right after she told me he lost his apartment because he couldnt afford rent, and that he lives with his mom who takes the kids to school an hour late every day during the weeks the dad has custody. I already had a bad taste about this guy.)
So, his first speech about how "level-headed" he is was over and it was my turn. I showed him his son's test results. When his son was tested, we asked him to write his first and last name on the paper. He said he did not know how to write his last name. We asked if he could at least spell it out loud for us. He couldnt. Remember, he is in SECOND grade....AND he repeated Kindergarten. The dad slammed his hand on the desk and called me a liar. Told me that his son CAN write his name, he just chose not to. OOOKKKKay....well, the rest of the conference went something like this:
"Well, in 2nd grade, we would certainly hope and expect that your son could write his name without any difficulty or prodding. If this is just a case where "A" decided he was going to refuse to do the work, then that, too, is a major concern in a classroom. I, personally, do not feel that "A" knows how to write his name with confidence, and that is a major concern. I understand you feel differntly and I hope that you are right, but he did not refuse to do any of the work we asked him to do all day...writing his last name should have been very easy for him.....oh, and when I asked "A"'s mom about this, she acknowedged that he cant write his name."
"move on from this...."
"Ok, the next test we gave "A" was a test to see if he can recognize the letters of the alphabet. All 26 letters are on the page in capital form, and A was only able to identify, or name, 24 of them. He also struggled with the lowercase letters, and was only able to identify 25 of them by name. Therefore, he did not meet the goal. This is a concern because..."
(cutting me off)
"Umm, excuse me, but 24 out of 26 and 25 out of 26 is a good score. It is an "a", right? I am surprised you are saying he didnt meet the goal when he earned an "a"."
(dumbfounded)
"well, sir, your son is in 2nd grade. He went through Kindergarten twice and has completed 1st grade. After 3 years of seeing his letters on a regular basis, and having entered the SECOND GRADE, "A" should know all of his letters AND the sounds that they make. We are not basing his success on a percentage here. Yes, 24 out of 26 would be a great score on a Social Studies test or multiple choice Science exam...but A simply doesnt know his letters. How can he be expected to read fluently in an active 2nd grade classroom with other 2nd graders when he isnt able to name each letter?"
(you effing jerk)
"Well....i still think he passed. 24 out of 26 is an "A"."
"In 2nd grade, they assume that all children know their letters. They dont teacher letters anymore. If he doesnt know them now, when will he learn them?"
"ok, move on...(i will teach him them) under his breath"
"The next assessment tells us whether "A" knows the sounds the letters make. Clearly, from all of the red markings on this page, you can see that "A" does not know that an 'S' says 'ssss' and and 'M' says "mmmm" and so on. In order for A to become a confident reader, he needs to learn all of the letters names and sounds they make. Then we can work on blending those sounds to form words. Until he knows the sounds...."
(cutting me off AGAIN)
"Umm, excuse me but I dont even know the sounds these things make...i mean, tell me where I would need to go to learn those sounds. i just never learned like that. I have never heard of letters and sounds and such nonsense..."
(confused, and about to tell him where to go....)
"Well, sir, you would have to go to a Kindergarten classroom to learn this material. And since your son was in a Kinder classroom for TWO FULL YEARS, he should know this material. I am not sure how you learned to read or sound out long words if you do not know phonics. Where did you grow up or attend elementary school?"
"Well,, English is not my first language and i just learned it...i mean, i didnt just learn it recently, i mean i just KNEW it...i didnt really LEARN it...and i know i didnt learn the sounds that letters make. that is ridiculous. I mean, look at this page...'br'...what does a b and an r 'say'??? They dont SAY anything! Sounding out is not how a kid learns how to read."
"Oh, i see, i didnt realize that english is your second language. You probably learned how to read in your native tongue, and then learned the English words that corresponded to what you were saying in your first language."
"You really must think I am an idiot (yes!), but i have never heard of phonics or sounds letters make. that is not how one learns to read."
"Well sir, I wouldnt have purchased the business if it wasnt proven to work, and this company has been around for 30 years. This system works. And to be honest, your son has been taught phonics for 3 years. That is how most schools teach children how to read. I am frankly unaware of any OTHER way to teach reading."
"Well, if i dont know how to sound out some letters, my son doesnt need to. that is not how he learns."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The conference only gets stupider (is that a word?) from there. The jerk asked me when we are open and I started to tell him "12-8 Mon-Thur,..." and he said "No! When are YOU here, Kathleen??" and I said "like i was saying...Monday thur Thursday noon to 8pm. I know you are meeting with A's guidance counselor, please tell her I said hello. Give us a call as soon as you have made a decision to enroll A."
"You know his guidance counselor?"
"Yes, I know all the counselors at his school. We have many of their students and we work closely with that school."
"oh yeah? then what's her name??" (smirk)
"her name is Mary Poppins (i gave her real name, but dont wanna post it here!)"
"eh, so you DO know her....."
"You can test me all you'd like, I stand behind HLC and what we are able to do for your son, and we would love to work with him and get him started soon so he can have a successful 2nd grade year."
"So you will be here Thursday until 8pm?"
"Yes sir, you can give me a call anytime you'd like to get his schedule set up."
"I am going to call you at 7:45pm on Thursday...."
(like he thought I was LYING or something....)

UGH. No wonder these kids are falling behind...their parents are idiots!
OK, off to conference with the parents of our newest student. We have had 3 teachers refuse to work with this little darling, he has trashed our bathrooms TWICE, poured water on desks for no reason, smashed the tips of markers, and just basically terrorised the center. Unfortunately, his parents shelled out $11,000 in cash so this little monster could learn how to read. We gotta put up with him....for now.

UGH.