More Paperwork Sent In....

Yesterday, I went to the post office and dropped off our preliminary paperwork and payment for the Home Study. We should receive the Home Study packet very soon! :) I am SUPER excited!!
Eric and I are still tossing around the "due date" we are setting for the Home Study. We could scramble and get it all filled out and completed and turn it in next month...or we could wait until my car is paid off in February or March.
If I were to get pregnant this month, we would KNOW that we had 40 weeks to prepare for baby's arrival. No more than 40 weeks. Period.
Well, we are in a unique situation that allows us to "pick" when our baby enters our life. We can choose to hurry it up and move quickly so baby arrives soon. Or we can choose to take a few extra months to pay off my car. I know, some of you are freaking out at me right now, thinking "WHAT? You have waited so long? WHY would you delay it!?" and trust me,...i thought the same thing when Eric suggested the plan. But now I am starting to realize that it might make sense. IF we wait until February to turn in our paperwork, my car will be paid off and I will not have to work when baby arrives. I could be a stay at home mom and choose to work for the extra money and/or the social interaction and adult conversation if i wanted.
This is pretty appealing since I am slightly concerned about the bonding process with a newborn, adopted baby. I know I will melt the minute we walk him/her out of the hospital and know he/she is OURS....but I also have to prepare for the possibility that it might not be that easy. So, it would be nice to know that I dont have to rush back to work or put baby in day care when I am not ready yet.
I think day care is a great thing! (Heck, I work at a day care!) and I fully intend to put my kid in day care at the right age/stage/point in life. I just dont want to feel FORCED to drop him/her off 6 weeks after we bring baby home.
This decision is not final...we are still tossing it around and thinking it through. Sometimes I want to hurry up and turn in the paperwork and see what happens.(God wouldnt hand you something you couldnt handle....)..and other times I think we would be doing the right thing by waiting just a little bit. I know the whole idea of waiting until you are financially "ready" for children is complete ridiculousness...but if we can just get this one thing paid off, it saves us a bunch of money each month and lightens the stress considerably.
I know I am explaining this allllll wrong and I bet some of you are thinking "that is selfish" or "what is she thinking" or "that is a BAD idea"...but rest assured I will keep you all posted re: progress and when/if things change.

In other news....Eric has been selected to pioneer a new "Exchange Program" within Chase. He will be swapping places with one of his counterparts at their site in Mumbai, India. They will trade places for a month (August/September). He is really excited...i am REALLY proud of him...and we are both hoping I can join in the fun (just for a week though!) That is another reason we dont want to turn in our paperwork next month....what if we get a match and baby arrives in July? Iw ould be home alone with a newborn and Eric would miss the whole first month of Baby Bass's life!! YIKES! :) So...good things happening here in Bassland. :)