Our Baileydogger :(

Its been a crazy, rough week around here.  On Friday, after meeting with the ENT for Grady in the morning, Eric and I brought Bailey to the vet for another consultation re: his eyes and his general demeanor.  He fell in the pool again a few weeks ago, had an accident in the house, and walked right into the lake when he got disoriented on his way back to the house.  We were pretty certain his eyesight had gotten worse and wanted to see what the doctor recommended.

Sadly, the vet said that Bailey's eyes were, in fact, worse, and that he was likely depressed and anxious.  On top of that, he was suffering from pretty rough arthritis in his hips and legs.  Our options were to put him on medications for depression and anxiety and arthritis, and hope that he perked up and learned to navigate the house he's lived in for 7 years, or...give Bailey the dignity and respect of going to heaven on a high note.  We know our mutt and have had an AWESOME (almost) 11 years with him.

The dog who has been roaming our house, hiding under the dining room table, and bumping into everything in our home in recent months is not the happy, easily excitable, playful, awesome mutt we know.  Its so hard to watch him deteriorate and mope.  Its equally as difficult to make the decision and pick a "death date" for your favorite animal in the whole world.  The dog who welcomed two babies into this house with open paws.  The dog who never touched a toy that didnt belong to him.  The dog who lived to chase squirrels and lizards.  The dog who LOVED fetching a tennis ball time after time after time, as long as we were willing to throw.  The dog who slept in our bed with me every night for almost 11 years, and only recently felt too much pain to make the leap into our bed at night.  The dog who hated the 4th of July and Halloween, and never got used to the barking of the little dogs next door.  The dog who loved peanut butter and cheese and any scrap the kids dropped on the floor...until his eyesight failed him and the scraps went uneaten.  The dog who Whitney has grown up with and who Grady loves to feed bones after every potty break.  The dog who's name Grady could say ("Bay!") despite having a hearing loss in recent months.  The dog who listened to me sob on multiple occasions when it was clear I wasnt pregnant.  The dog who is such a part of our family that he was on our Christmas card each year, and who seemed to smile at the camera.

 How do you pick a day to put that dog to sleep? Heartbreaking.  But it was the right thing to do, as we truly believe that Bailey wouldnt have wanted to live out his final months, weeks, years, or hours in an anxious, depressed way, constantly confused and unsure, and in pain.  It just wasnt fair to make him live that way.
So on Sunday at 2pm, Eric and I made a very tearful trip to the vet one last time.  It was awful.  Seriously heartbreaking, as I love that silly mutt like my own child.
We gave him an awesome weekend with extra love, three Big Macs, as much cheese as he wanted, a plate of peanut butter, and more kisses than he probably wanted.

We hugged him and pet him and told him over and over and over how much we love him.  We thanked him for all the awesome memories and for being such a great big brother.  We told him to go catch the squirrels and tennis balls and lizards all day in heaven.  And we told him we would miss him terribly.  He fell asleep very peacefully with his head in my lap, finally closing those sad eyes and beginning to snore lightly.  He was the best dog ever.

Thankfully, Whitney has taken the events really well considering how emotional and dramatic she can be.  She loved Bailey like a brother, too.  We explained to her that Bailey would go to heaven and she accepts that.  She repeatedly reminds me that he is in heaven and his eyes are healed and he can run and play again.  She told me that she thinks there is a ball thrower in heaven, so Bailey can run and fetch balls all day long now that he can see again.  She got a little teary-eyed the morning after Bailey left us, but hasnt mentioned him since. She has asked me to check on her fish, Whiskers, several times, "just to make sure he is still okay." But she is handling it all really well.

I, on the other hand, have cried every day.  Bed time is the worst because the house is quiet and that's when Bailey got the best attention of the day.  Pets on the floor, snuggles in bed, extra treats, etc.  Now that there is no dog to follow in my shadow on the way to bed each night, the house seems sad.  We wont get another four-legged family member for a while (years and years), but Im really missing the little things like the sound of his nails on the tile floor, and the small piles of food he would leave behind as he ONLY ate his food on the carpet.  I miss the tumbleweeds that reminded me to vacuum.  I miss him greeting us at the door.  I miss the kids running to the box of bones to give him a treat before we leave the house each time.  I miss him trying to catch his tail and responding with his silly dog "talk" when we ask him "Bailey, do you love me??"
I will miss him for a long time.  Sweet dreams, Baileydogger. :(

10/10/02 - 7/28/13 

edited to add videos.