My Mommy Instinct was in high gear the last few months as we watched Grady suffer from ear infections. He has had three ear infections since May 18th, and I brought him to the pediatrician on more than two other occasions believing he had ear infections, only to be told he "just has fluid in his ear, but its not infected."
During this time, Grady started getting molars. So when it wasnt an ear infection, we attributed his lazy, grumpy, not-so-Grady attitude to the pain from new teeth popping through. I felt like he just couldnt catch a break and prayed that his happy, silly, energetic personality would come back soon. Every time I went into his room I thought, "Maybe THIS is the time he wakes up happy and back to himself..."...only to be greeted by a whiny, sad little boy who would want to cuddle one minute and then get angry and frustrated the next minute. He just wasnt himself and I knew something was up.
I kept going back to his ears because he stopped responding to his name and didnt flinch at loud noises like balloons popping or music turned up loud. He would be happy and playful for short periods of time, but was just generally not enjoying life the way he used to.
I am SOOOO glad I pushed until we got answers.
I took him to our regular pediatrician's office yesterday and, through tears and the fears inspired by Google searches the night before, I explained to his doctor that Grady doesnt respond to his name anymore. He gets fixated on tasks and is hard to distract. He could sit through entire movies without getting up and he brings me the remote when commercials come on TV. He dances every time he hears music, so I wasnt completely convinced it was his hearing, but he didnt like his weekly Gym classes anymore and seemed to be afraid when other kids approached him in class. He banged his head on the wall in his crib, repeatedly. And he digs in his ears often. He is incredibly wobbly for a child who learned how to walk three months ago. And most upsetting, he hasnt learned any new sounds or words in the last few months.
The doctor took some time watching him and said that she didnt think his sudden personality shift was teething-related as all of his molars are pretty much through the gums now. She didnt think it was ear-related because, while he did have "a little" fluid in his ears, it wasnt enough for her to believe it was effecting his hearing the way I described. And while she didnt believe he showed any signs of Autism, she did see why his inability or disinterest in responding to his own name would concern me. But she just kept saying things like, "You were spoiled with Whitney at this age because she was such a talker and she did things so early and she is such a ray of sunshine. My own kids are similar to yours. My first born is like Whitney, and my second-born, like Grady, was just unhappy and grumpy and not so much fun at this age. It happens. Grady might just be going through a stage and maybe he will return to that happy disposition you know,...or maybe he wont. But I truly think its just his personality and not really anything 'wrong'."
I left there in tears with a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician and an Audiologist. I just couldnt accept that he was "just a grumpy kid" given how happy and full of life he was in the past. I sat in the parking lot and called the audiologist. I made an appointment and learned that they could diagnose hearing loss and help overcome hearing loss if that is what Grady was expriencing, but they couldnt treat him if he needed tubes in his ears. That would fall under the responsibilities of an ENT.
So I took Grady back inside the pediatrician's office, and as he wailed and screamed, I showed the nurses my child and said, "THIS is NOT a healthy child. Healthy children dont cry for no reason. Something is WRONG here and I need a referral to an ENT so I can start getting answers." The nurses promptly got the doctor to write out the referral and I walked back to the car, now both me and Grady crying, and made more phone calls.
I said a silent prayer that. if the ENT saw no signs of hearing issues, then maybe the developmental pediatrician could help us figure out why Grady wasnt making any gains in vocabulary and why he was suddenly so anti-social.
The receptionist who answered my call at the ENT yesterday was like a little angel. She got me an appointment for the next day (today) and assured me that "tomorrow, you will walk out of here with answers one way or another." What a relief!?
All evening, Eric and I tried to figure out if Grady could hear us. I turned the TV on but had it on mute. I slowly increased the volume and Grady didnt respond until it was loud. Then, he smiled and started dancing. My happy dude! I played peek a boo with him and he made eye contact and laughed and engaged with me, but didnt have any change in reaction whether I said "peek a boo" or not. He still didnt respond to his name. At all. Even when I had our friend Julie call him from across the room. ZERO response. So we vascillated back and forth from "its just his ears" to "there is something more here" all night long.
I could NOT wait to hear what the doc had to say this morning!
The audiologist performed the test int he soundproof booth. He sat nicely on my lap and waved at the doctor through the window. She then called to him through the speaker to our left. Grady didnt turn or flinch. She called on our right. No response. This went back and forth for a few rounds until finally, when her voice was loud enough, Grady responded by turning to the speaker. I couldnt believe how loud the sound had to be before he would turn each time. She turned it back down again and he started playing with his shoes. No response. Poor dude cant hear. :(
She explained that the doctor would go into more detail, but that she noted a "mild to moderate hearing deficit" in both ears and "negative pressure" in one ear. She said that he is hearing everything muffled and underwater. :(
Feeling a little bit of relief, we waited to see the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor. Dr. C came in and explained that Grady is really on the cusp of when they would typically talk about tubes because he has "only" had three or four actual ear infections in recent months. But she noted that, because he has had multiple doctor's appointments confirming the fluid in his ears and because it is obviously affecting his balance and his speech development, she recommends tubes in his ears.
HALLELUJAH!!
She noted that my childhood history of tubes and infections, combined with his current situation leads her to believe that Grady is a very smart boy who just cant hear. She said imagine listening to the teacher from The Peanuts talking....and then put that teacher under water. And that is how Grady hears the world around him. No wonder he is so grumpy and lazy!! She said this could be why he is so disengaged from playing with other kids, and why he wants to just watch movies and lay around. She said it could be why he doesnt like gym class (too painful on his ears and the other kids could startle him when he doesnt hear them coming up behind him!) She said its totally normal for kids with this kind of hearing to "shut down" and stop making verbal gains and to ignore their name. She said we all hear normally at 20 decibels. But Grady had to have sounds turned up to 40 decibels before he would begin to respond!!! Poor guy!
Oh, and he also has the start of an ear infection. Again.
So we left the office with renewed hope and excitement that his vocabulary explosion is around the corner and that he will once again get to hear all the beautiful sounds and songs his big sister treats us to on a daily basis :)
Surgery is scheduled for Monday morning and we couldnt be happier!
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