Another Update and lots to STOP thinking about

OK, I have spent the last 2 hours of phone calls, IMs, facebook messages, and emails convincing OTHER people not to read-into or over-analyze the latest development...now I need to take my own advice. In the grand scheme of things, this really isnt THAT big a deal. But right now, on this day, for some reason, it seems worrisome..no....awkward....no.....strange?....no...UNCOMFORTABLE. For now. When I sleep on it, I think I will look at it differently. I hope. I have written and deleted this post twice already because I dont know how to say what I MEAN to say the way I mean to say it. Without some snotty or whiney tone.
Facts:
*at our last meeting, we asked T to send a sort of "reverse" profile for us...telling us about them the way we told them about us. We kinda wanted them to include things they want the baby to know someday. They agreed. T said she had been drafting a letter to the baby, and that she was going to be finalizing it "soon". T asked if we would be meeting again before the birth. D told her "we usually only meet one time. so probably not." T said she was finalizing her birth plan and wanted to know if we wanted to be in the room, cut the cord, blah blah etc etc. L had one last minute question that he forgot to ask at the meeting, so he had D call us to ask since we were all under the impression that we would not be meeting again.

New info:
*no confirmation that T or L received the letter or pictures we sent via the agency. No letters or pictures FROM T or L via the agency. T has an ultrasound on Wednesday which reminded me to ask D to ask T (i hate playing telephone) if we could have copies of the ultrasound pics from the first ultrasound she had (when they found out it was a girl). T said she would rather just give us pics from the up-coming ultrasound. No mention of why we cant have copies of previous u/s pics? T wants to meet again before the birth. We are happy to meet with them, but wish we had some clue WHY she wants to meet again. If its just a "i want to get to know more about you guys since you'll be raising my daughter" kinda meeting, then we are 100% on board and want to get to know them better too. Totally. But what if this is a "i'm not so sure you two are REALLY who i want you to be, or who i want to raise my daughter, so i want to meet you one more time to get a better feel for you two fools" kinda meeting?? What if she isnt sure? What if she is looking for reasons or ways to back out? Or maybe she just wants to give us the ultrasound pics in person? Or maybe she wants to give us her letter to the baby in person? Or maybe she just wants to look us in the eyes one more time before the emotions of "THE BIG DAY" get in the way? Or maybe she just likes us sooo much that she wants to have another burger with us? Or maybe ..... ugh, the possibilities are endless. And that's the problem. I am a thinker. And with Eric gone, I think even more.
Lately, I have only been able to think GOOD, HAPPY, FUN things :) the nursery is coming together (omGosh, she should SEE the adorable pink chair with her name on it!!)...her playroom looks fit for a Princess....the weather is shaping up......i found the CUTEST pink play things to add to our wishlist....work is good...Eric is almost done traveling.........seriously folks. My prayer list is FILLED with blessings!!
So this kinda blind-sided me today. If I could jsut call T up and say "sure! Let's meet at XYZ on _____ at ___o'clock!" then maybe I could hear the tone of her voice...maybe she would say something to let me know the meaning behind this next meeting. Maybe I could have a hint. But this whole agency thing gets in the way.
And its funny how, when you tell someone that she wants to meet again, they instantly say "why???" with this nervous tone. And then, when I say "well, i'm not really sure...but we're willing to find out!" they get all nervous again and say "well....i'm sure its fine......" but then go on in a few seconds of silence and say "what COULD it be? you dont think she's backing out DO YOU?"
ugh. thanks...I WASN'T thinking that, but now that you mentioned it......thanks. that's awesome.

So...we dont know when this mysterious meeting will be, or even why it is occuring if it is so against protocol. But we'll be there with smiles on. T's u/s is Wednesday and she'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. Everyone seems to think that they will be scheduling her c-section based on Wednesday's u/s. I tend to agree, but think it might be wishful thinking.
Once the agency knows T's definite c-section date, they will set up our next meeting for the week before. (They "usually" like to schedule the second meetings as close to the delivery as possible....said D......who also told me second meetings were not "usual". ???????) So it looks like Wednesday might give us more information.....well, Wednesday might give T and D and the rest of the people on "that" side of this situation more information. But Eric and I, on "this" side of the situation, wont likely get the new information until someone remembers to call us......eventually....hopefully this week, but probably not til next week.

I'll keep you posted.

PS...dont get me wrong...i have always wanted to meet again for dinner or lunch. I enjoyed meeting them both A LOT and look forward to the chance to meet them again, maybe with less stress on the situation. I just KNEW the reason for last visit....this one, while welcomed, is throwing me a curve ball. I am sure it will be fine. She was soooo sure last time....even more sure at the end than she was to begin with. So I hope its still a sure thing.