A Few Updates and More Waiting....shocker.

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers! When I am rational and have myself "together", I know that God has a perfect plan for us and for this little girl. We HOPE and pray that the plan is still to bring us together as a family, so we are trying to do our best to block out all the new information we have learned, and just move forward as though things are still working as originally planned.

An Update from this Weekend:
For now, the agency is telling us NOT to back out, and to move forward with T. So we are going to trust and have FAITH in their experience, and know that we still have 31 more days to continue to learn more about T's thoughts and concerns, and to determine how those concerns will effect this adoption. If those concerns grow or become something more or seem to become clear road blocks in the path to placement, then we can back out. But for now, they are "just" concerns, and hopefully just the "normal" last minute worries that moms anticipating placement tend to face towards the end of the pregnancy. T's father seems to be her "rock", and he is totally pro-adoption plan. T seems to still be saying "i know this is the right thing to do..." but just cant get past the actual handing her over part. (understandable!) L's sisters are apparently offering to take the baby and raise her. But T has told the agency that they are not who she wants raising her child, and that she actually wants to avoid having her other two kids growing up around them, too. T and L are currently back in the same home (we think), working on their marriage again (we think). We arent clear whether this helps the adoption plan, or helps her to back out of an adoption plan. SOOOOOOOOOOO much has been said and done that I cant even get it all out of my head to process it yet. The agency isnt using our money for T anymore, and they wont let us look at the sonograms (even though D was waaaay out of line and literally dangled them in our faces...literally. Eric and i both cried.) They say they are protecting our money, but i just keep saying "we'll find more money...please just protect our HEARTS!"
I appreciate that we will "only" lose several thousand dollars, instead of the $10k, $15k that others have lost in the past. But I can get past money. I cant imagine getting to hold her, take pics with her, hug her, kiss her, feed her, and snuggle her...and then having to give her back. no way. I am strong and tough, but I am NOT that strong or tough. No one should be.

Thank you sooooo much for all of your prayers. I can literally feel my mood being lifted, and I know its thanks to your prayers. Right now, we THINK we are going to move forward as though nothing "bad" has happened, and just see how things progress over the next 31 days. T has a therapy session on Monday, and the social wokers and agency reps all know that the plan is to try to get her to tell more info. How REAL are these concerns. Are they just normal jitters? Or are they deal breakers? The best part: T has NO IDEA that she has been "red flagged". She has no clue that we know she has made comments. So we have to pretend we dont know, in hopes that she will continue to open up and share these feelings BEFORE we end up at the hospital, holding her daughter. Please pray for her, and for L's sisters to come to terms with T's plan. T contines to say "i know this is the right thing to do"..and thats kinda whats getting me through. (Well, that and Eric's sense of humor, smile, hugs, and positive outlook....he has been 100% "lets keep moving forward" through all of this...*I* am the nervous one.)

UPDATE from 3 Minutes Ago:
Eric called D to find out if there were any new developments from yesterday's counseling session. Apparently T "couldnt make it to the session". D doesnt know WHY she didnt make it, doesnt know IF its being rescheduled, and doesnt know WHEN it would be rescheduled. She knows NOTHING. And can someone please tell me WHY it took a phone call from Eric at 3:30 for us to learn this teeny piece of info?? Maybe I am feeling a little bit "poor me" today, but I kinda feel like this situation should have been the FIRST thing on D's "To Do List" yesterday and today...and she has NO new info and NO time to call and tell us anything. Previously, she has dropped the ball and not called us on little things. When pressed, she finally admitted "ok, maybe in hindsight i could have called and just told you there wasnt anything to report...but i wanted to have information for you." When I made it CLEAR to her that "even a phone call telling us you have NO information is better than NO phone call AND no information", she said she would be sure to keep us informed at "every step". Dont you think she should have called and said "hey, I know yall were waiting to hear about today's session, so I wanted to let you know that it didnt happen...she cancelled. I dont know why she cancelled, but i will do my best to find out the details."??? That should have happened YESTERDAY. Instead, she JUST FOUND OUT, TODAY, that T "didnt make" her session. WHAT!?
So, D's days are numbered. I am done with her lack of communication and sucky "this is all Kathleen's fault" attitude. I told Eric that IF this moves forward and we DO end up meeting for dinner on the 6th, I do NOT want D there. Period. T gets to cherry pick who SHE wants to be with her, so I want to cherry pick who I want on our team.

So...thats the latest. Oh, and they still think they are getting a ridiculous payment from us today. It was "due" yesterday, but we told them we arent paying it until we get answers. Maybe that will put a wiggle in their step.